Pretty Accessories: Feathery Headbands, Flowery Clips

I apologize I've taken a couple weeks off from updating the blog - I have a major deadline at work and haven't had time to do any wedding-related research.
----------------------------------------------------------

A week or so ago I was on the Urban Outfitters website and found these gorgeous hair accessories...and thought they'd be perfect for as bridesmaid wedding hair accessories. Etsy also has a huge offering of beautiful feather and flower embellished headbands - some of which would be great for the bride to wear instead of a veil or in place of the veil at the reception.

Headbands and Hair Clips - From L-R (all from Urban Outfitters):

• Large Flower Hairclip
• Double Skinny Flower Headband
• Ribbon Wrapped Feather Headband - Version 1
• Ribbon Wrapped Feather Headband - Version 2
  

A Sampling of Hair Accessories found on Etsy (L-R):

• Ivory and Peacock Feather Headpiece from Wild Spirits
• Lovely Ivory Feather Comb for the Bride from Wild Spirits
• Feather and Rose "Fanticy" Comb from BeSomethingNew
• Gloria – Golden Peacock feather headband from Bethany Lorelle
• Lillian Gish from BoringSidney
• Vintage Peach Headband from BeSomethingNew
  

Inspiration Board #3: Champagne & Lace, Spring Pastels

Since it's starting to warm up here in Michigan and I've been seeing Easter decorations in all of the stores, I was inclined to create a soft, pastel-themed inspiration board. The first photo I found was from the National Park Service - Big Spring Park - and thought it fit the image of the ideal spring wedding perfectly.

1. Men’s Suit from Loris Diran (Spring 2007) via AH Fashion
2. Table Setting from Roland Kreig Photographic Print via All Posters (UK)
3. Big Spring Park via the National Park Service
4. Mui Mui Ballet Flats via Mindless Ramblings & Misadventures of Miss Clio Blog
5. Mui Mui Ballet Flats via Mindless Ramblings & Misadventures of Miss Clio Blog
6. Invitation by Invitations by Nature
7. Fine Silver Stamped Spiral Ring – Wear Me Jewels (Etsy)
8. Love and Romance Bouquet from 4165 Flower
9. Wooden Utensils – Michelle and Noah’s picnic wedding from the Bride’s Café via East Side Bride Blog
10. Folk Art Bunnies – Old World Primatives (Etsy)
11. Dress - Think of Strenesse's strapless dress via Cynthia Nellis (About.com)

Budget Saving Tips

We all know weddings can be expensive! But if you get creative, there are many ways you can shrink your spending without compromising the experience both you and your guests have at your once-in-a-lifetime affair. Here are some ideas:

• Cake: Keeping up with this tradition can be a major expense but there are ways to cut back on costs. First, select a smaller cake for "the display" and use pre-cut sheet cake to serve to guests. Second, choose buttercream instead of fondant frosting. Not only is it cheaper, it tastes much better! Another option would be to just do a dessert bar, skipping the cake all-together. I’ve heard of people using cupcakes or even miniature pies along with desserts made by family and friends. This adds a personal touch to the event and a down-home feel while keeping some cash in your pockets.


• Invitations: For all you craft-bugs, there are endless options for making your own invitations, RSVPs, Save the Dates, etc. (I'll talk more about this in a future entry since my sister and I plan to take on this task for her wedding). Another way to save costs on your invitations is to use postcards for reply cards ilo a card with an envelope. Not only do you save the cost of the extra envelope, but you avoid paying extra postage (postcard stamps are cheaper!). Also, avoid square invites or mail them in rectangular envelopes since squares envelopes require additional postage.


• Photographer: One of my rules is to never skimp on photography. However, there are many talented photographers out there who may not be well known...yet. Before making your final photographer selection, check out local photography/art schools and assistant photographers to larger named professionals. You may find a perfect photograher at a great price since some of these individuals are working to put a professional portfolio together and are willing to work for less to pull it together. I would have them take a few shots of you and your fiance as well as show you photos they have taken at other events and of people to give you an idea of the quality of their work and style before hiring them however.


• When - Day of the Week or Time of the Year: Who says you have to stick with tradition? Many venues will offer deals if you hold your event on a Friday night -or- Sunday Brunch. Also, selecting off-months (i.e. October thru April) and avoiding holidays and major flower holidays (Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, etc) should result in lower rental fees.


• More Fillers, Fewer Flowers: Besides not picking to have your wedding during major flower holidays, utilize the use of pretty fillers instead of flower-rich arrangements. I have seen some beautiful arrangements done with branches or leafy greens. It also helps to select locally grown flowers that are in season.
  
• Multi-Purpose: Think about making your decorations work double-shifts. For example, bouquets carried by your bridesmaids become part of centerpieces, favors and place cards become one in the same, etc.


• Bar Saver: First of all, if you're able to find a place that allows you to supply your own alcohol, you're going to save a ton of money (venue mark-ups are huge!). Second, stick to beer and wine and add a "signature" drink instead of having a fully stocked bar.

Cute Wedding Accessories: Printed Peep-Toe Pumps

I'm a sucker for funky printed shoes - especially if they're stilettos and look great with a cute summer dress. So when I was looking at Overstock.com the other day, you can imagine my surprise when I discovered they had such a fantastic selection of patterned pumps! Several of these gems would make perfect accessories to dress up those common, solid bridesmaid dresses. A little pop of pattern, a peek of painted toe, and a nice little lift from a pretty pair of pumps...can I be your bridesmaid? :)

Shoes from Top - L-R:

1. Naughty Monkey Wavelength Striped Peep Toe Pumps - $49.99
2. Naughty Monkey Basic Instinct - $49.99
3. Exchange by Charles David Fuss in Green Fabric – $45.29
4. Paris Hilton Nichole Green Cheetah – $46.58
5. Misbehave by Aldi – Floral Embroidered Pumps – $32.99
6. Tribeca Net Prime Grape Satin – $32.35
7. Betsey Johnson Mackenzie Aqua/Silver – $103.52
8. Naughty Monkey Nature Calls in Red – $35.58
9. Betseyville Bernidette Yellow – $54.35
10. Tribeca Prime Sailor Blue – $32.35
11. Gabriella Rocha Nikki Light Green Fabric – $29.50
12. Naughty Monkey Sucker Brown – $48.52
13. Jessica Simpson Peers Scarlett Gingham – $46.58
14. AK Anne Klein Torie Black/White Fabric – $44.64
15. Rsvp Agneta White - $39.47
16. Chinese Laundry Darcie Natural/Red - $37.52
17. Enzo Angiolini Peep Toe Stilleto Pumps - $59.99

Wedding Etiquette - Deciding Who To Invite

After setting a budget, the next logical step in wedding planning is to pull together your invite list. Completing this task early in the process determines the appropriate size of your event, confirms whether or not your budget is realistic, and helps you figure out where the wedding/reception should be held based on how many out-of-town guests you may expect and what reception venues will physically fit your party.

Deciding who to invite to a wedding can be a very stressful process. Many couples feel obligated to invite people due to pressures from their family or peers. And sometimes there will be disagreements over the number of potential invitees since the bride and groom have different approaches to their decision making. So how do you reach a consensus and figure out who makes the list and who doesn't?

To create an invite list, I first recommend the bride and groom go off on their own and determine who they would like to attend (along with some parental input re: relatives and close family friends). Then the two of them should combine the lists into one and go through some basic questions together to classify each person into the following bins: Must Invite, Back-up List, Remove from List. Here are some questions that may help with this process:

• How long has it been since you last talked to this person? If this is a person you only "talk" to in a yearly Christmas card, or you haven't seen them in several years (even if they were your "best friend" at the time) chances are they aren't close enough to you now to be invited to your wedding.
• Are they mutual friends? If not, how much does this person know about the person you are marrying? If the person is a good friend, they should know quite a bit about the most important person in your life.
• Are you only inviting them because they invited you to their wedding or you were in their wedding years ago? Friendships can change over the years so it's perfectly appropriate to not invite someone whose wedding you attended several years ago (even if you were a bridesmaid).
• Would you call this person after the birth of your child? If you'd call them in person they definitely should be invited. If they're someone you would add to a mass distribution e-mail they should be on your back-up list. If you would just let them find out on Facebook or MySpace they shouldn't be invited.
• Are you inviting them just because they're a co-worker and you're afraid of hurting their feelings? You should only invite co-workers if you consider them to be a close friend. One way of putting this into perspective: When was the last time you spent time with this person in a social setting - outside of work?
• Has this person met both of you? If you have been together as a couple for two or more years, everyone on your wedding invite list should have met your fiance at least once.
• If you are planning to exclude children from your event, will this person understand your desire to have an adult-only wedding? It's perfectly appropriate to ask guests to leave their children at home. However, most sites recommend being very clear with this desire since some people don't understand etiquette. In other words, you should leave the children's names off the card when addressing the invitation -and- have "Adults Only" printed on the details for the wedding &/or reception.
• Overall, couples should remember their wedding is an intimate celebration to be shared with people who mean a great deal to them and who have made a positive impact on their lives. If someone on the invite list does not fit this bill they definitely shouldn't be invited!

I found a great article on CNN.com from last August that had 10 questions each wedding guest should be able to answer. For obvious reasons, I don't recommend sending out this survey to each of your potential guests :) Rather you should use this to help narrow down your guest list. The Political Calculations Blog also came up with a scoring mechanism to help you with this process as well.

Should you be invited to my wedding?
By Audrey Irvine
(CNN) -- One of my girlfriends recently got engaged. Before we could even bask in her happiness, the conversation turned to the dreaded guest list. Fun questions like, "So, honey, do we have to invite your great aunt, whom you haven't seen since you were 10?" So, who should get an invite?

Too often, women are pressured into inviting way too many people to their weddings out of a sense of obligation. Parents, prospective in-laws and grooms can turn a simple wedding into a grand affair.
And as soon as that engagement ring catches her eye, that occasional lunch acquaintance feels entitled to share in your happy nuptials. Then you realize too late that the majority of people at your wedding don't really know you or what has been going on in your life up until your big day.

This quiz is something I shared with friends years ago and feel inclined to share with other women.
Here are 10 questions couples can use to trim that guest list and weed out the people you really don't want at your wedding:
1) Name the city I'm living in now (Good one to weed folks out, especially if you have moved a lot. Don't use this if you've lived in the same place for 10 years).
2) Name at least two of my closest friends.
3) Name my current employer and my past employer (Again, if you've remained in the same job for 15 years, this does not apply).
4) Do I have any kids?
5) Do you know the name of my fiancé? Bonus question: Where and when did we meet?
6) Do you know where my parents are and whether they are still alive? (Imagine a friend at your wedding asking how long have your parents been married when they divorced years ago).
7) Name at least two of my hobbies.
8) How old am I? (My favorite is when family friends would query, 'Are you 28 now?" Imagine their surprise when I proclaimed, 'yeah, 10 years ago!')
9) Where did I go to college? (Some people might not remember whether you attended college or even graduated.)
10) Name my last boyfriend before this engagement. Bonus question: if you can name the last two and why we broke up. If you get the bonus question right, that might automatically get you in.

If you score 50 percent or below, you definitely are not getting invited. If you score barely over 50 percent, you are on the waiting list. If you score over 60 percent, you get an invitation.

Inspiration Board #2: Modern Peacock - Lime, Brown

This inspiration board was inspired by a funky peacock lampshade I found on Anthropologie this week. It sets the tone for an uncomplicated, modern and exotic wedding theme with just the right pop of aqua and lime to offset the rich brown. I visualized turning the shades into pendant lights which would then be hung over a long, rectangular main table.

1. Anjou Wire Lantern from Wrapables
2. Peacock Shade from Anthropologie - Available in May 2009
3. Luggage Tags as name cards from Favor Studio
4. Versini, Brown, Multistripe, Three-Button Suit from Men's Warehouse
5. Peacock Paisley Pillow from Amazon.com
6. Maggie Sottero Wedding Dress in Fredricka found on Brides.com
7. Table Design by Root Candles (Includes instructions how to re-create this look)
8. Green Hydrangea Bouquet found on Wedding Flowers and Reception Ideas (Photo by John Henry)
9. Truffle Bridesmaid's Dress from David’s Bridal
10. Handmade Card by Mel Stampz (Blog includes instructions how to re-create)
11. Boutonniere from Melissa Marie Floral Design
12. Peacock Flourish Menu from Documents and Designs
13. Cellini Ladies Satin Wedding Shoes from Amazon UK
14. Bridal Bouquet by Monday Morning Flowers
15. Hot Chocolate Wedding Cake by Maisie Fantaisie (UK)
16. Modern Place Setting by Dwell Studio via Hatch: The Design Public Blog
17. Customized Take-Out Box by Coastal Blue Promotions
18. Lunch Tote by Milano found on Organize.com
19. Peacock Metal Wall Art from Quilted Bear
20. Kiwi Vases from Crate & Barrel

Wedding Accessories: SoleMates

I found an interesting accessory today when I was perusing wedding websites. It's a little piece of plastic called a "SoleMate" that slips over the heel of your pump to enable you to walk down a grassy or cobblestone aisle with ease. They are offered up at a cost of $11.95 a pair (you can order from the SoleMates website shown below).

After wearing pumps to many outdoor weddings and tiptoeing through the grass for fear I'd aerate the lawn, I'm tempted to buy a pair to try them out. However, I'm not yet convinced they'd completely work. And I don't know if I like how they look - but I guess you'd just slip them off as soon as the grassy portion of the wedding was over...

We're getting Married!!! OMG - Where do I even begin?

ESTABLISHING A BUDGET

The most important thing to do before even starting to plan your wedding is to set your budget. Why? Establishing a budget helps keep you grounded as to what you can actually afford -and- it also gives you a good idea of how much something may cost...so you have a baseline price to reference when selecting vendors, etc.

There are what seem like millions of wedding websites out there. So many in fact, most newly engaged gals must feel totally overwhelmed by the information overload. And although many of these sites offer tools for the bride, the focus of this post is to determine which wedding site is the best for budget planning. First, I searched the web to see which planning sites were mentioned the most ofen and then I created my own account on each of those sites. The sites I tested included: The Knot, The Wedding Channel, Get Married, Wedding Wire, Martha Stewart Weddings, EZ Wedding Planner, One Wed, and Brides.com.


The WINNER(s): Wedding Wire - This site is the big winner when it comes to budgeting. The nice thing is Martha Stewart Weddings actually uses Wedding Wire's tool so you can choose from either site to get the benefits. Using the tool is easy. Once you put in your overall target, it will calculate estimations for line item costs. And the it allows you to change these estimations - in case you're a DIY bride and want to do some things youself to save cost or want to splurge on some other item. Besides these features, this tool lets you to add line items, and insert and track the actual cost, amount paid, and date due for each expense. You can also insert and track responsible payer, amount still due, payment date, and type of payment. The only thing it seems to be missing is for you to track your number of guests/attendants to determine per/head costs which can be handy when selecting a caterer.

The Knot - The Knot's big plus is their payment tracking system where you can track deposit, second, and final payments for items including amount, due date, payment date, and form of payment. It also allows you to add payments due to a checklist, and e-mail yourself a reminder within a certain timeframe of the due date (ex/ 1 week before the payment is due). Like Wedding Wire/Martha Stewart Weddings, you can add items. However, the big negative I found is that although it gives you an estimate of how much things should cost there's no way to modify the estimated number. This can be a problem when you want to truly customize how much you want to spend on each item.

Brides - Brides.com's budget planner is in Beta format so it probably doesn't have all of the features the site plans to incorporate into the final version. The tool is a good start, but not worth the hassle. First, you have to add each line item youself (which requires using another site to come up with the basic items) and due to this fact, it doesn't give you an automatic estimate of what the items will cost based. Overall Brides Beta is not very useful to use as a planning tool - just a tracking tool. It does have a per head estimate and invited vs actually attending price which is something I think all of the sites should add.

Get Married - This site's budgeting tool does have the nice enhancements of tips for each expense item and a video for some of them. However, like Brides.com, it does not give you a baseline estimated price (you put it in yourself) and all you can track are estimated cost, actual cost, delta to budget, amount paid and amount due.

EZ Wedding Planner - EZ Wedding Planner is straight forward. However, it lacks any sort of eye candy, can be a pretty cluttered site, and doesn't have enhanced tools like the other bridal sites. Also, I couldn't figure out how to change the budget - it automatically gave me a budget of $17400? Out of all of the tools, I scored this one the lowest.

One Wed - Does not appear to have any sort of budget tracking tool. I'll check it out again when it comes to creating a wedding website for your friends/family to get all of your wedding details.

The Wedding Channel - This website appears to have a budgeting tool but after I logged in and then clicked on budget, it asked me to log in again and wouldn't let me in. After multiple attempts and then re-visiting the e-mail that confirmed I was entering the correct name/password, I got frustrated with it and gave up. If anyone has used it for budgeting, feel free to add your experience in the comments section.

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?
The main issue most of these budget planning sites had was none of them listed who traditionally pays for what items or was a line-item added for designating who is paying (it may have been in another area on the site, just not mentioned on the budget planning sheet). Granted, trends are changing and some brides and grooms are paying for their own weddings. However, if you want to see who typically pays for various pieces of the wedding, Wed Alert.com posted an article written by Kristin Oiam. Here is a condensed exerpt from her article describing who traditionally is responsible for what expenses:

• THE BRIDE - Wedding ring+ wedding gift for the groom, Party or luncheon + gifts for attendants, lodging for out-of-town attendants
• THE GROOM - Engagement + wedding rings + wedding gift for the bride, legal documents/marriage license, honeymoon, transportation, lodging for out-of-town attendants
• THE BRIDESMAIDS and MAID OF HONOR - Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party, Wedding Attire/Accessories
• THE GROOMSMEN and BEST MAN - Bachelor Party, Wedding Attire
• PARENTS OF THE GROOM - Rehearsal Dinner, Post-Wedding Brunch
• PARENTS OF THE BRIDE - Reception (music, flowers, food, bar, gratuities), Bride's Gown, all other expenses

Eye Candy: Amy Atlas Events

This past weekend I was flipping through my Food and Wine magazine and stumbled across the most lovely dessert tables I have ever seen. The designs were by Amy Atlas events in New York known for fashionable, fun, high-end dessert tables. It's easy to see from sample designs (below) featured on her website why she's such a hit. Amy's also just started a blog called Sweet Designs which I'm looking forward to visiting for more inspiration.

Inspiration Board #1: Silver Wedding

The other day I was looking at artwork online and became inspired by this painting of a gray pansy butterfly (from India) posted by Nature Magics. The lovely, earthy colors of this insect helped me pull together some ideas for a silvery, wintery wedding theme: A Silver Celebration.

1. Dapper Gray Suit shown on Paton & Dhoot Bespoke's website
2. Silk Dupioni Gwendolyn Gown (J Crew)
3. Table Décor by Rebecca Thuss

4. BCBG Dresses Found on Lindemanweddings.blogspot.com

5. Silk Taffeta Delores Dress (J Crew)
6. Crystal & Pearl Bridal Hair Comb (8839) from Wedding Factory Direct

7. Wash Room sign by Delightful Details

8. Two Little Birds Custom Wedding Invitation by Alannah Rose
9. Three Tier White Wedding Cake shown on Brides.com
10. Birds as Cake Topper by Rebecca Thuss

11. Tree Decorations from The White Company (London)
12. Silver Crystal "Favours" from Rainbow Sugarcraft (UK)
13. Table Decorations from The White Company (London)

14. Silver Dollar Branches from Save On Crafts
15. Photo from Pyro Artistry (UK)

16. Polished nickel lantern from 4himonly (UK)

17. Glass Icicle Ornaments from Smith & Hawken (found on Amazon.com)
18. Gray Leather Necklace by Eninaj
19. White cake with silver dragées found on Country Living.com
20. Placecard Idea from the talented Heather Bullard

The Ring

So what happens right after you get engaged? You want to share the good news with your family and friends...but in many cases they don't live close enough for you to tell them in person. And since you know most of your female friends will say: "Tell me about the ring! What's it look like?" you know you need to take a picture of it to send to them. However, once you take the photo, you're pretty disappointed - it really doesn't do your ring justice as it looks small and blurry. Guess what - you can fix that!

For years I have been following Anne Ruthmann's blog. She's an amazing lifestyle photographer and wedding photojournalist. As an amateur photographer I enjoy learning from her by studying the shots she's taken. And I also love the fact she likes to teach others about photography. Not too long ago she put together a rather timely entry on "how to take amazing engagement and wedding ring photos." She offers some great tips. For example, you should never take a photo of the ring on your hand (just looking at a ring on the hand vs. some of the photos she's taken is more than proof). She also suggests you pick out an interesting background to lay the ring, use scotch tape to stand the ring up, put your camera into macro mode (the little flower symbol on your point-and-shoot), and make sure the ring takes up no less than half the screen. My sister followed these tips and took some quick shots the day she got engaged to send to the family. Not bad for a first try - Thanks Anne!

Here Comes the Bride...

My little sister Meghan got engaged last weekend on Valentine's Day - February 14, 2009. She's been dating her fiance for years and years, so it didn't come as a surprise to my family. But being the older sister, suddenly I feel like I'm supposed to know all sorts of things about weddings. I'm 30, in a steady relationship, but I've never been married. And obviously, at this point in my life I've been in quite a few weddings (so let's hope that old saying "three times a bridesmaid, never a bride" isn't accurate...). But even being a part of those weddings in the past, I don't know everything that an older sister who has walked down the aisle would. So...what do you do when you're 30 years old and your little sister is getting married before you? You write a blog. OK, it's probably not the type of blog you'd expect - i.e. this won't be about how everyone is harassing you since you're not married yet. Instead this blog is about being the older sister who's not quite able to provide her little sister with wedding advice like most older sisters can since they went through the whole wedding planning thing already.

All my life I've been a planner...I make lists, I do research, I plan things out to make sure everything will be perfect. My close friends sometimes call me Martha - since I'm a foodie, enjoy gardening, love to entertain and strive to make things look "perfect." So with that said, I want to help (help, not take over the event) my sister with her wedding...do some research, find her some super useful resources and provide that often necessary sisterly inspiration. I hope you enjoy learning with me.